Why yes, I'll pray for your Gas!

I'm still not sure what I think about this.

My initial reaction is: "Aren't there other areas that could better use your time in prayer?"

Top 10 Worst Selling Youth Ministry Books

by Scott Firestone (Group Magazine)

10. Time Shares and Texas Hold 'Em: Creative Fundraising Ideas
9. No Halos for Halo: Why Jesus Hates Video Games and Video Gamers
8. The Gaithers: Rockers for Jesus or the Devil's Marionettes
7. The Care Bears: Leading Teens Down the Dark Road of the Occult
6. SUPERGOOD Life Lessons From SUPERBAD - Includes CD with Video Clips!
5. Budget and Salaries: Youth Ministry on $1 a Day!
4. Defensive Driving Tips for Your 15-Passenger Metal Box of Death On Wheels
3. 101 Flannelgraph Bible Lessons for Teenagers
2. Chubby Bunny: How an Addiction to Marshmellows Ruined My Ministry
1. Junior High Bible Studies: Song of Solomon

Argh!

Just when you think you've had an awesome week...

...something causes it to come crashing down...

My Personality Type: INFP (It's me word for word)

From the Myers/Briggs Type Indicator (My comments in blue)

INFP

INFPs focus deeply on their values, and they devote their lives to pursuing the ideal. They often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. They are creative, and they seek new ideas and possibilities. They quietly push for what is important to them, and they rarely give up. While they have a gentleness about them and a delightful sense of humor, they may be somewhat difficult to get to know and may be overlooked by others. They are at their best making their world more in line with their internal vision of perfection.

Living

INFPs decide early on what is important for them, what is of value. They tend to rely on themselves for direction and are reticent to ask others for help. They would rather do things themselves, to make sure they are done properly. INFPs have found this to be both a strength and a curse. Depending only on themselves and being careful not to show mistakes to others is important. As teens, INFPs may have a bit of a rebellious streak. They may argue with those who hold different values than they do (My class in World Religions comes to mind...as well as starting arguments with any Baptist I could find!). They are also likely to have a small, close set of friends with whom they share good times. In the comfort of those close relationships, they can relax and are often quite entertaining, since they see the world in a different and special way. Their sense of humour is readily apparent. However, unless an INFP finds an appreciation for his or her uniqueness and personal values, he or she may feel like an odd person out.

When they set their minds on things, INFPs are not likely to give up easily, yet because of their outward gentleness, they do not show their determination. They may not take a direct path, but somehow they reach their dreams.

As young adults, INFPs may have some difficulty finding the ideal career and the ideal mate, in part because of that very word 'ideal'. They have a vision in mind of what they want, yet reality may not follow suit. They may make several starts and stops in their career until they find a comfortable place for themselves.

INFPs have a need for perfection in connection with their personal values. They become frustrated with those who dwell on trivialities. (ie. Board meetings where 45 minutes is spent deciding on whether or not to include a stamp on a postcard mailing)

INFPs need a purpose beyond the paycheck. They become burned out easily if their job does not fit their value system; they may not feel good enough about what they have achieved and, as a result, may undervalue themselves and their contributions. (Bolded because this is so true)

In retirement, INFPs need to look back and feel that they have led a worthwhile life that has made a difference. They want time for a variety of activities, including travel. They may also be very attached to their family and enjoy special visits with them. (I'll try to remember that)

Working

At work, INFPs contribute their creativity, their value system, and their ability to work with others. They are able to see the larger picture and how specific programs fit in. They do not dwell on the trivialities or the details. Their job must be fun, although not racous, and it must be meaningful to them. (Perhaps this is why I'm a youth minister?) They need a strong purpose in their work. They want to be recognized and valued, without undue attention given to them. (ie. Minister Appreciation Day: I'm so embarrassed!) They may become embarrassed when make the center of attention. (See!) As a result, they may undersell their strengths in order to avoid being singled out and made to feel conspicuous. They would rather have their worth be noticed gradually over time.

INFPs like to work with cooperative people committed to the same values that they are. They can become bothered when they see others working at cross purposes, especially when conflict is overt. They do not like competition or bureaucracy. (Church politics) They need privacy. Calm and quiet appeal to them, as does time and space for reflection. People usually like working with INFPs even though they may not know them well.

INFPs are quite disorganized. (It's an organized mess!) But when tasks at hand are important and best done in an organized way, INFPs strive to do so. Practicality is not a driving force for INFPs. Things that traditionally belong together may not be placed together because the INFP does not see it as necessary. They have trouble finishing what they start because of their perfectionistic nature. When they do finish a project, they may not consider it done 'for good.' Projects can always be improved upon, revised, and reworked, and therefore INFPs find it hard to bring tasks to closure. Because they are able to visualize the finished product long before it is done, the actual completion is of less importance. (I've been working on camp for 5 months now and I still don't think I'm 'done' even though we leave on Sunday.)

INFPs prefer occupations in which they can be involved in making the world better. Having their heart in their work is important to them. These occupations also allow for an element of creativity and flexibility. INFPs are particularly interested to be counselor, editor, education consultant, English teacher, fine arts teacher, journalist, psychologist, religious educator, social scientist, social worker, teacher, writer, and other occupations that engage their values. (Every one of those appeals to me believe it or not)

Leading

The INFP leadership style is subtle, gentle, indirect, and inclusive of others. INFPs do not confront people head-on, but rather work with them and through them to get the job done. Their style is not an aggressive one but is highly persistent; only reluctantly do INFPs assume leadership roles. (So true)

They lead with their values in mind, and these guide them. They prefer not to take a hands-on approach with others but to allow them to achieve in independent ways. They are facilitative rather than directive. (Delegation!) They encourage others by appreciation and praise. Critiquing others does not come easily to them.

INFPs seldom confront situations directly, in part because they do not like conflict. Whenever possible, they would rather wait for a situation to work itself out, since they trust that people will work things through. They do not like following all the rules and regulations, but they are not overtly rebellious. They seek to get things done in their own style. (Yeah that gets me in trouble some times)

Leisure

Leisure activities are very important to INFPs, but at times it is difficult for them to separate work from play. When a new leisure pursuit is found, INFPs typically do a great deal of research. They may read many books and make several phone calls to dig for information. (Wikipedia has been a great source of learning new things. When I started getting into Star Trek I would spend a great deal of time just reading about the Star Trek Universe...now I"m reading about Jeeps!)

Many of the INFPs' leisure activities are done alone --- reading, listening to music, and gardening are some activities likely to appeal to them. Reflection time and the opportunity to make sure things are right are important. INFPs often enjoy leisure pursuits with loved ones as well. When they want to be sociable, they can be exceedingly charming and outgoing. Their flexibility, gentleness, and sense of humour can make them quite popular in social situations.

Loving

For the INFP, love is a very deep commitment, and one that is not easily attained. They have ideals, and therefore reality may be carefully scrutinized.

With their ideal firmly envisioned, the first date with that special person is carefully planned and prepared for, and often every aesthetic thing is taken care of. The flowers are in place, the right wine is ordered, and the proper meal is prepared.

INFPs may have difficulty sharing their feelings about others. They keep so many of those feelings inside that they may forget to tell their partner how much they love and appreciate them. (Yeah we've had a couple of 'discussions' about that) They also need reminders of their partner's love.

When things go wrong in a relationship, the INFP takes it to heart but does not readily discuss it with others. They may not be willing to communicate to let others know how they are feeling. When scorned, they are very hurt and may overreact in an almost maudlin way.

Everytime I take the Myers/Briggs test I always get the same result. I took it the first time when I was 19 and it's always the same. It's just me, word for word. It's funny to read something like this and then understand why you do the things you do.

Anyways, I would encourage anyone to take this test. There is an application on Facebook that allows you to take it and you can find it on my profile in facebook.

Church Membership Sucks!

Church photo directories frustrate me.

They're a great tool and all, but everyone comes out of the woodwork for them! I saw a family last night that I haven't seen in church in the 3 years that I've been here, not even for Christmas Eve or Easter.

I remember a conversation I had with a lady a couple of months ago. It went something like this:

"You're the youth minister at Reddington? Well I've been a member of that church for 45 years! I haven't been there in about 30 though..." And this was a woman who was able to get around well but for whatever reason, she had chosen not to go to church.

So that raises the question: What makes you a church member?

Some people think you join a church to get that recognition, "I'm a part of this organization."

Some people think you join a church because their whole family does.

I think too many take church membership too seriously.

Who cares about membership!

What about servantship?

You can quote me on this: I feel a lot more respect for the dedicated Sunday school teacher than I do the dedicated tither. It's easy to throw money in and feel like you're doing something good. Don't get me wrong, we all need to take part in growing God's Kingdom financially...but I think God is more in to serving others on a more practical level than by giving money to a church/organization.

So that's my rant for today.

Tranformational Thinking

The Once a Youth Pastor... blog has dramatically influenced a change in how I perceive 'effectiveness' in youth ministry and how youth ministry SHOULD be done. If you haven't seen this blog you have to. Go through and read it all. Most of the posts are short and to the point but it has been instrumental in reforming my ministry paradigm.

In one of his latest posts he lists the 5 questions that helped him rethink youth ministry.

1. When was the last time we saw teens and their parents inside the walls of the church discussing spiritual things together?
2. Do we equip and support parents of teens even a fraction as much as the teens that walk through their doors?
3. How much time does our church/youth ministry invest in parents?
4. What percentage of our youth ministry programs involves parents as participants, not just chaperones or leaders?
5. Which of our ministries communicate that parents are the most important part of a teen’s faith formation?

Again, this is his, I don't want to take any credit from his work and pass along his site so you can be blessed by his words. I'm going to print off those questions and put them in a spot that I will see daily.

So...

I had hoped to come back from my blogging hiatus, but it doesn't look like it's going to happen.

This June I will be in my office a total of 4 days.

4 days.

I hope to have a lot to talk about when I come back :-D

Charlie the Unicorn 2

If you haven't seen Charlie the Unicorn 1, stop what you're doing and go to YouTube and search for Charlie the Unicorn and watch it so you can fully enjoy Charlie the Unicorn 2. Otherwise, enjoy!

The Media (Not so evil as you think)

Quick post before the service.

Most people blame the media for misrepresenting news or not publishing news of "substance". I know I often get ticked off when the war in Darfur gets 10 seconds of news time and the cafeteria worker who saved a little girl from choking gets 4 full minutes (true story). But is the media to blame? Or is it that people just don't care about things going on in the world elsewhere?

I present the evidence. CNN's "Top News" according to page views:

1. Jenna's big Wedding Day
2. Ex Manager: OJ confessed
3. 'Idol' finalist's dad banned
4. Can Clinton Land the plane?
5. Obama closes in on Superdelegates.
6. Price of snail mail creeps up
7. ....you get the point


What does this mean for youth ministry? Maybe exercising an awareness of what's going on in the world and having compassion for people in other countries. More thoughts on this later.

Movie Trailers that are Destroying America

Things are getting Busy!

To my faithful readers:

Things are getting busy with school ending and the summer months coming up. Youth workers around the country are bracing for a summer of activities, retreats, camps and trips. Updates may be slow coming in these next few months so I apologize.

To Be Irrelevant

"I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self." - Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus

Being a Bigger Loser Finale

The Results are in! (Gotta love the loser references!)


Not sure where I eventually ended up but as of last week I was in 20th place out of the 175+ that participated. The contest is over but I'm still trying to lose!

Me after losing 30 pounds

The "Are You A Bigger Loser Than Marko" contest ends today and I officially weighed in at 210, 30 pounds less then when I started. I'm pretty excited. But it's not over yet, I still have about 30 more to go! Thank you all for your prayers and your support!

It's a Numbers Game

Like it or not, youth workers live in a culture where numbers apparently matter. This is horrible. When i read curriculum, everything is geared towards a group of 20+ attenders. Games. Events. Everything you read (almost) in youth ministry is geared towards large youth groups. It's almost as if people have forgotten that the average church in America is under 100 in attendance for the whole church!

Every time I go to a large youth event, they bring in "big speakers" who are heralded as professional youth workers because they are on staff at churches of 10,000+ or have youth groups that are hundreds of students. What about Bill down the road who has been doing youth ministry for 20 years for little or no pay at all and has a youth group of 8 high school students. Or Lindsay in the next town over who has been at the same church for 5 years and ministers to a group of 3 middle school girls.

Big numbers equal big success...or so we're told. I was asked several times last week how many are we taking to our CIY Believe conference. My answer was 5. But what I was really excited about was that we had 2 of them going for the very first time, which to me is a big deal.

Numbers don't equal success. In fact, there is no way possible that we can ever measure the success of a youth ministry. Not till we get to heaven. It's not the work of a single youth pastor. It's not the work of a vision statement or even a hospitality ministry.

So the next time you're tempted to ask someone the size of their youth group, ask yourself why you want to know. Why does it matter? Are you trying to measure up to them? Are you trying to measure their success? Think about it.

Maybe you're someone who plans a large gathering for students. Instead of asking Doug Fields to come and speak at your event, think about Bill down the street. Consider the youth workers who don't have a line of books or merchandise.

Father forgive us for turning youth ministry into a competition and popularity contest.

My name is Dj and we have a small youth group, and I enjoy each and every moment I have with them.

Exhaustion

I'm tired.

I've been going for 2 weeks non-stop with stuff at home and at the church and I'm tired. Lately it feels like I go to the church, get all the crazy stuff done that I need to get done in a week, get home, do whatever crazy stuff I need to get done there and the last hour or so I have available I spend it with my wife or by myself because I just need that alone time and then I'm in bed.

This is a COFY (Community Outreach for Youth) week so this week I am traveling with the group doing school assemblies hauling music equipment. This weekend I'm taking 5 jr high students to a CIY Believe conference. Tee ball practice. Dog surgery and meetings meetings meetings...

I'm tired.

Mountaintops

I accomplished a goal yesterday.

Several months ago I went out to our local National Forest and attempted to hike the Pinnacle trail, a 1-mile long rugged trail uphill several hundred feet. Needless to say I didn't get that far. About a quarter of a mile.

Then a couple of months later we took some of our elementary aged kids there and attempted the same trail. This time we got about half way because of time constraints.

Yesterday I took my best friend in the whole world with me to climb the trail once and for all: my 65 pound chocolate lab Levi. He was a trooper. Thirty-five minutes later we were at the top of the "mountain" looking out at the fields below. It was amazing.

It was a holy place.

Nature is where I meet God. I see the trees, the mountains, the valleys the lakes and streams form a connection for me to know how amazing our God is. I don't have any formal prayer time except maybe a word or two, but it's as if God speaks to me through the silence of the trees and hills.

Words really can't express the rejuvenation that takes place.

Excitement!

I just have to say that I am EXTREMELY excited this morning. Our little church of 300 is taking 15 to The Core Conference this Saturday. This is really a huge step for our church and I'm really excited about it!

Benevolence

I have 4 lessons to write today because it's been a busy week and I haven't gotten around to it. So while I'm having trouble with my lesson writing, I thought I would procrastinate with this question.

Lately we have had a flow of people contacting the church asking for help and assistance with hotels rooms and food and such. Food is easy, we have a food pantry that we can either take food to people or they can come and get what they want. Generally, our Senior Pastor deals with all of the benevolence requests but as he's been out this week due to surgery I've had to talk with some of these people.

The question I have is, what do you do? I talked to a woman on Sunday who I felt had a genuine need and had kids so I paid for their hotel room with our church credit card and found a generous person to give them money for food that evening. Yesterday a man came into my office with the same request. He had contacted the church on Sunday and asked for help and to my knowledge the elders had said they would pay for his room but lost contact with him (his story). So I (on behalf of the church) agreed to pay for his hotel room and give him a ride back to town.

I found out this morning that this man had contacted the church on Easter and one of our elders agreed to pay for his room and did so. The Sunday that he had "lost contact" with the elders was in fact a lie, they paid for his room for that Sunday evening. So here was a man that was taking advantage of the system. Two completely different situations.

How would you approach those situations?
Do you decide to cover all that ask and open yourself up for people to take advantage of the system or do you turn away people who potentially are in genuine need?
The age old question: What would Jesus do?

Jesus was fairly straight forward with his message of loving your neighbor as yourself. James echoes the acts of faith:

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." - James 4:17

But Paul warns against being idle:

"We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat." - 2nd Thessalonians 3:11,12

To be honest, I'm completely torn on this issue. Me and Carrie have talked about it a lot this week neither of us can come up with a satisfactory answer. It's a difficult thing to wrestle with. Your comments and insights are appreciated.

New Post Coming Soon

I haven't forgotten you all I promise! Life has been busy!

In the mean time, read this.